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25 Lessons @25

Honestly being a human being is a difficult proposition. A waxing and waning balance between having the power of imagination for a world you have no control over and having the genius to build questions yet not enough power to seek out the answers.

However, that is contextually the essence of life. A blend of situations and opportunities that are often presented in our lives so that we can have something to push against, to rail against, to motivate, mobilize our energies, to push against and fight because, life.

Here I share my 25 lessons at 25, I hope you are inspired.

  1. Compete against yourself.

No one knows how deep, how high, how wide your greatness lies within you and that’s your power. Never doubt that ability. Dream big!

  1. Earn your spot at the table

It is not given so quit going around with a spoilt mentality thinking that you rightfully deserve anything. Work, work, work!

  1. Prioritize

Know what is important but most importantly know what is most important now.

  1. Honor relationships, all kinds.

Family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues etc. these relationships are defined by lengths of time, shaped by memories, situations and numerous middle things. Cherish them and allow yourself to evolve, grow and mature while in them. Seek an improved version of yourself throughout.

  1. Life is a rhythm.

It’s a unique intricate pulse made just for you. Seasons and time in your life are made up of a beat of strategically laid out nuances that should seamlessly blend into every function of your life and if interrupted they bite back.

  1. Winning happens in turns.

Celebrate your loved ones in their victories, big or small, and whether you find yourself first, in the middle or the one who does most of the catching up it is your responsibility to honour such moments with them. Remember life for the most part is cyclic sooner than later when their time waves out it might be your turn.

  1. Energies, positive or negative, reciprocate.

Don’t create a reverse attitude on life just because you have not attained the amount of success you wish to just yet. If you desire a job, an education, a gifting or talent, marriage, children, car, social class don’t go around criticizing the ones who have, celebrate them as you wait your turn because what you might not realize is that the energies of the universe always revert accordingly.

  1. Service your way to the top.

Every step you make in life is an extension of a bigger goal and these steps are mostly wrapped up in service. Respect the process and don’t allow for anybody to speed you through it, including yourself. Service to your family, friends, colleagues, church, country the list is endless. Check, but I’ve realized that any person you desire to emulate in life most often than not is in the position they are in because they are serving.

  1. Surround yourself with people way smarter than you.

Allow yourself to be challenged to grow, learn and manifest a better version of yourself.

  1. Practice Amnesia.

Be done with what was and open yourself to what would become. What’s in your past is exactly just that the past. It could be mistakes, failures, etc be done with it. Instead, prepare for the future. In life there are no failures everything is a set up. No losses just lessons.

  1. Find the value of the person looking back at you in the mirror.

Invest in yourself beyond work, church and home. Challenge yourself beyond your comfort zone which usually breeds complacency. Dig yourself out of who you were told you are or what you were told you would become and get on an adventure of limitless possibilities. Date you, know you, love on you, you’ll be surprised what beauty lies within you and around you- you’ll become the gift that keeps on giving.

  1. Grief will occur more than once.

It is painful and it’s the price you pay for love. Grief is wholly, just like joy is and nothing can be said or done to fix it. It is the receipt you hold in the air for the world to see that you paid the price of love. It’s the last thing you show for loving anything or anybody and it will occur in your life and in the lives of those that you love, more than once.

  1. People are fickle and don’t take it personally.

One day you think you know them then the next the rug is pulled from underneath you and it’s like you are dealing with a total stranger. They will manipulate, extort and be unkind towards you. But don’t be persuaded into changing because of it. Just adjust your BS antennae so that next time it picks on such characters sooner.

  1. Your power is your authenticity.

Don’t allow any other person to be the barometer in which you judge yourself or get incarcerated in people’s definitions of who you are. Truth is, you are never as bad as they say you are and you’re never as good as they say you are and furthermore they don’t like you as much as they say they do. If you live for their compliments, you’ll die by their criticism.

  1. Form a relationship with Pain. It’s your power so don’t waste it.

As sure as the sun rises and sets you will encounter pain countless times in this life so don’t be afraid of it. This might blow your mind but realize that you are strong enough for any kind or amount of pain that you could ever encounter. You see pain is not a hot potato, it’s a travelling professor and the wisest of us welcome it and say sit down and don’t leave till you’ve taught me what I need to know. Remember there is no rising before the crucifixion.

  1. There is no glory except through your story.

And the beauty about it is that it’s cut and tailored just for you. It’s your blueprint so own it, no one else the world over has walked in those shoes but you! Make it beautiful.

  1. You don’t have forever.

Get on the grind right now! Youth is fleeting and time is marching. Devour while young and if it doesn’t work move on to the next thing. Time is too precious and it isn’t waiting on you lest you find yourself with nothing to divide while you’re old. Throw your whole self at something today. Don’t worry about other people’s names right now, worry about your name. Remember your 30- year old, 40-year old self depends on the genius inside of you. You better hurry.

  1. There’s nothing like wasted time or energies.

If  you happen to have thrown yourself into something and it didn’t work, believe that it will be the thing that leads to the THING. In all that you do put your best foot forward and give it your best effort and if it turns out not to be IT, it will be one step closer to the IT you are hoping for. Your miracle isn’t in what you’ve lost but in what you have left.

  1. Be careful how you treat people. They are the means that God manifests His blessings in your life.

God often presents himself as opportunity. Opportunity to inspire, motivate, bless etc and His means is your fellow human being. Kill them with kindness.

  1. Be present in the NOW.

Dignify the present. Do your best at your current position, honour it with your intentions, strength and everything you are. It reciprocates.

  1. Notice the little things, within them resides miracles.

The sun in the sky. The rain pouring from the heavens. The wind brushing against your skin. The simplest things recalibrate you. Live in the moment.

  1. Ignore the temptation to settle.

You can’t say that you want something special then let the ordinary occupy your space. Stop placing yourself in the clearance. Maintain your worth in a world that constantly tries to determine your value. The real deal is worth waiting for and better still it is waiting for you.

  1. Hate, tribalism, racism can’t stand contact. In your own way be the bridge.

Seek to connect with people from a different kind of common than the one you’re used to. It is hard to see a friend through the lenses of tribe because the relationship you have transcends that detail. Beyond tribe, race etc choose to validate the humanity of every person you come across before you are tempted to highlight their brokenness whether on the basis of tribe, social class, level of education etc. Their humanity is as important as yours.

  1. Share and inspire, what might have worked for you can potentially work for someone else.

Life, like a video game, you know a couple of moves that have worked for you so far, so go on and share them with the next person. They don’t have to go through a tough time learning the ropes while you could share your insights and make their journey a little bit smoother.

  1. Learn to be still

Take a day off and just relax. No phone calls, texts, social media, emails just you and silence. Take on an activity that replenishes you and calms you. Go to church, read the word of God feed your spirit. Sit quietly. Be still, recalibrate.






24 Lessons At 24 Years: I Congratulate Me

Let’s face it: Life does not get easier as you grow older.If anything, it gets messier and more complicated. You can quickly wake up and not recognize the world you exist in every single day.

I turned 24  today. I know this shouldn’t frighten me as much as it does. I know this shouldn’t make me immediately go into panic mode. But, it does. And frankly, I started panicking the second I turned 21.

I know 24 isn’t an ‘old’ age. I know turning 24 isn’t a huge milestone like turning 25 or 30 is. But, it’s such an odd feeling knowing another year has passed.

Well,there are numerous thoughtful and spot-on observations that I have made in this very interesting journey called life, over the years. These lessons, I didn’t learn over night, to be honest I had to take them with great pain, tears and others I still find myself fighting but they have significantly contributed to the woman I am slowly but surely turning out to be, everyday.

  1. Things will eventually work out: What you are witnessing right now is but just a tip of the ice berg and you’ll be just fine no matter the twists and turns life throws at you. Things will definitely not take shape in the order or nature in which you think they will but in just the right amount. Not in the way you want them to but how they need to be FOR YOU. Nothing more, nothing less.
  2. This world will defile you: Whether you like it or not to a greater or lesser extent you will become corrupted. Our minds become polluted. Everyone, at every stage in life, suffers from insecurities and neuroses and that’s the basic nature of life.
  3. Nothing in life is truly fulfilling: Something or someone will momentarily change this notion but it will last just as long. A moment. Neither your dream job, money, marriage, a child(ren) , travelling nor your wildest dream will fulfill you as you presume it will.
  4. Grow your own voice: It’s about time you had your own opinion and world view, as an adult you can no longer be comfortable echoing what you’ve gathered from others. And while you are at it speak clearly and unambiguously don’t give people the opportunity to misconstrue what you are saying.
  5. Life is unfair: If you’ve got your ego checked feel free to overlook this point because as you’ve realised this life doesn’t owe you anything regardless of how religiously good you have been. For those who haven’t the earlier you get used to it the better. Tragedy will follow tragedy and such is life.
  6. Pick an interest about politics: Push yourself out of the fog of ignorance and start for example watching news and understanding some of it. You’ll realise it’s really buoying to have an informed opinion about the affairs of your country and the world over. At this point you are actually responsible for your country’s current political climate.
  7. Embrace the novelty of growing up: You might have fought it but at some point you have realised that you are actually aging. And in as much as you kind of fear it it’s a good thing. Aging is about finding new things you love rather than desperately clinging onto the old things you used to.
  8. We are all the same: No matter how far and wide our differences range at the core we share the same needs, fears and hope.
  9. Don’t take rejection personally. I used to get really upset over the smallest things and I would play it back over and over again in my head. While I still do this sometimes, I’ve learned that it is important to just let things go. Let other people inspire you and let experiences change you.
  10. Don’t be fooled by appearance. It’s vain and sometimes not the genuine reflection of the truth. A lot happens behind the scenes that if people were privy to it would cause immense panic and disillusionment. Never base your judgement of anything by its smooth, slick exterior rather on character. But be quick to believe people by who they show you they are, they have been with themselves longer than you have been around them.
  11. Don’t try to fit square pegs into round holes: Quit forcing issues. Never try convincing yourself that something is working while it isn’t and it’s your job to actually realise when you are forcing things and it’s also your job to walk away. Truth is your gut has told you about it but for some reason you are being stubborn.
  12. In this journey called life, travel light. You can’t possibly afford to have carry forward grudges year in year out. Let go. Seriously if you begin doing it now how exhausted will you possibly be in a couple of years.
  13. Not everyone has earned the right to hear your story so choose who you tell it to wisely: Not everyone is entitled to your story not until they have earned your trust and respect. Only then can they be privy to it.
  14. Self-pity is your enemy: It’s funny how we are too quick to champion and celebrate others but rarely ourselves. Talk and treat yourself as you would the most important person in your life.
  15. You can learn more about life in 1 week than you would have in 1 year: One major life event or encounter with someone can throw up more lessons than you can imagine.Also its your apprenticeship period , you won’t be judged for asking questions so feel free ask as many as you can.
  16. Everything is in a state of change: Your priorities will change. Your friends will change. Your interests will change. Your beliefs will be shaken from time to time or completely take a turn around. Don’t be afraid of change. It’s a good thing. It’s how we evolve and grow.
  17. The world is the best education you can get. Take advantage of it. Learn about the places you are going and soak up as much as you can master.
  18. Be honest at least with yourself
  19. Be hungry and satisfied at the same time: You need more than you have right now to actualise your full potential but at the same time you’ll never exactly have enough and sometimes that’s fine.
  20. Never allow for seasons to become habits: There is time for everything.Know when to hold on and know when to let go.
  21. Be kind, respectful and always say thank you. Courtesy goes a long way. And don’t ever consciously make someone else feel small to make yourself feel better. In the end, this hurts you far more than the other person.
  22. Get your finances in order and take control of your health: This is the appropriate time to do it. Start tracking your expenses. Save up. And ultimately this body is the frame you’ll function in for the time you’ll be around on earth the earlier you start taking care of it the better.
  23. Family and friends trump everything else: Seriously, set ambition and pride aside and make time for those who truly matter.
  24. God is real. But don’t confuse Him for a genie in a bottle. He is all there is. You’ve never lost him regardless of how far you’ve strayed. He is constantly and relentlessly WITH you and FOR you. Again and again He would choose you over anything else but just like any other relationship you also need to choose Him. Build one with Him, the earlier the better.

The far I’ve come I owe it all to God and the road ahead of me I entrust Him with every step of the way.He leadeth me.


The Telescope

Create moments with loved ones for death is final

I have seen couples live under the same roof but emotionally worlds apart, each absorbed in their work or dealings that they barely acknowledge one another

I cannot fathom the emotional devastation that gripped those who visited Chiromo mortuary to identify bodies of their kin following the recent terrorist attack on Garissa university that left more than 140 dead and scores missing.

It was a tragedy that sparked reactions of anger, pain and fear. We vented the feelings through the media, phone calls and protests.

We condemned the government for doing so little to save the innocent souls. We lashed at leaders for caring only for their security. We blamed Garissa residents for working in cahoot with Al Shabaab terror group. All these actions did not change the fact that we lost lives.11055257_983061218380443_4175383918597419458_o-710x434

May the innocent souls rest in peace.

Death is cruel. No one word can express the pain nor the agony shared.

The images that we saw on national television were heart-rending: A father wailing, wrenched in the hopelessness and helplessness of losing a loved one. Another narrating how she had invested in their daughter? Can it get worse?

Should death be the awakening call to cherish every moment with our loved ones.Should death trigger the deep sorrow and grief? Should we seek strength in warm memories? Memories that will seldom fill the void of a deep desperate need of the longing of all yesterdays?

Can we choose to be different in a modern world where many distractions burden our minds? Distractions that keep our minds away from what needs to be done or it will be burying the head in the sand?

Ours is a world where television, radio and even jobs get in the way of quality time with family and friends.

It is easy to ignore those around us who need our attention, affection and companionship.I have seen couples live under the same roof but emotionally worlds apart, each absorbed in her work or dealings that they barely acknowledge one another.

Children are l14276399eft at the mercies of house helps who could instil (im)morals that could impact on the young ones future.

We must learn to set aside time for our loved ones and to manage our time so as not to neglect the people and things that are important in our lives.

Enjoy the distractions but don’t let them be a hurdle or roadblock in life.Find time to spend with family and friends. Create time for yourself. Cherish every moment you can with those you love.

Life is a fragile affair, we are all dancing on the edge of a precipice a dizzy cliff so high we can not see the bottom.One by one we will all lose that we love most into the dark ravine.

This article was published on the April 11 2015  in People Daily Kenya