There is gain after going through pain

Pain is a strange bedfellow.

It brings the oddest of people together. People who have been through same life experiences — good or bad — somehow strike a cord that is hard to break. This transcends background, race and even colour.

We are able to relate to what other people are going through because we have been in that situat© Copyright 2010 CorbisCorporationion before. But how do we handle pain or joy when it comes our way? It depends on our character.

Character is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. Interestingly, character is not tied to achievements in life but in overcoming daily struggles. Success is not measured by how much money we have made but how we handle challenges that come our way.

An old Kikuyu adage says Gutiri kiega kiumaga hega (there is no gain without pain). Many times struggles are necessary to succeed in life. There is something about going through adversities. To justify that the current tribulation is not in vain and once the answer doesn’t seem forth coming, you tend to feel like you are a victim.

Subconsciously, this is the quest that most of us focus on; forged by a deep need to know that nothing just happens. Seeking to find a good reason why ‘I’m going through what I’m going through, why what happened had to happen at that stage in my life’. An explanation to why it just had to happen.

Whatever happens in your life is no mistake neither is it an accident nor a fluke of nature. Life in itself is part of a bigger plan. There is something to gain after going through loss of a loved one, job, diseases, misfortunes and adversity.

There is beauty in losing one thing because it opens you up other avenues. It might be a lesson that helps you be more effective and happier in life, or it could be a new possibility you never even thought to seek. It may seem not worthy to you in any discernible means right away but the point is you will eventually have to let go and move on.

You’re a strong person; you’ll find ways to make the new direction meaningful to make up for what you lost by gaining something equally important in the aftermath, whether it’s a new understanding of your strengths, a new idea of who you want to be, or a new opportunity to try again a little wiser. It is hard to think that way when you feel your dream is slipping through your fingers.

What’s important to remember is that no matter what changes or slips away, you can still do something meaningful and fulfilling right from where you are. Backed by a deep urge to let go of regret and pain, start rejuvenating your sense of optimism and possibility.

(This article was published on March 1, 2015 on People Daily Kenya

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