Honestly being a human being is a difficult proposition. A waxing and waning balance between having the power of imagination for a world you have no control over and having the genius to build questions yet not enough power to seek out the answers.
However, that is contextually the essence of life. A blend of situations and opportunities that are often presented in our lives so that we can have something to push against, to rail against, to motivate, mobilize our energies, to push against and fight because, life.
Here I share my 25 lessons at 25, I hope you are inspired.
- Compete against yourself.
No one knows how deep, how high, how wide your greatness lies within you and that’s your power. Never doubt that ability. Dream big!
- Earn your spot at the table
It is not given so quit going around with a spoilt mentality thinking that you rightfully deserve anything. Work, work, work!
Know what is important but most importantly know what is most important now.
- Honor relationships, all kinds.
Family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues etc. these relationships are defined by lengths of time, shaped by memories, situations and numerous middle things. Cherish them and allow yourself to evolve, grow and mature while in them. Seek an improved version of yourself throughout.
- Life is a rhythm.
It’s a unique intricate pulse made just for you. Seasons and time in your life are made up of a beat of strategically laid out nuances that should seamlessly blend into every function of your life and if interrupted they bite back.
- Winning happens in turns.
Celebrate your loved ones in their victories, big or small, and whether you find yourself first, in the middle or the one who does most of the catching up it is your responsibility to honour such moments with them. Remember life for the most part is cyclic sooner than later when their time waves out it might be your turn.
- Energies, positive or negative, reciprocate.
Don’t create a reverse attitude on life just because you have not attained the amount of success you wish to just yet. If you desire a job, an education, a gifting or talent, marriage, children, car, social class don’t go around criticizing the ones who have, celebrate them as you wait your turn because what you might not realize is that the energies of the universe always revert accordingly.
- Service your way to the top.
Every step you make in life is an extension of a bigger goal and these steps are mostly wrapped up in service. Respect the process and don’t allow for anybody to speed you through it, including yourself. Service to your family, friends, colleagues, church, country the list is endless. Check, but I’ve realized that any person you desire to emulate in life most often than not is in the position they are in because they are serving.
- Surround yourself with people way smarter than you.
Allow yourself to be challenged to grow, learn and manifest a better version of yourself.
- Practice Amnesia.
Be done with what was and open yourself to what would become. What’s in your past is exactly just that the past. It could be mistakes, failures, etc be done with it. Instead, prepare for the future. In life there are no failures everything is a set up. No losses just lessons.
- Find the value of the person looking back at you in the mirror.
Invest in yourself beyond work, church and home. Challenge yourself beyond your comfort zone which usually breeds complacency. Dig yourself out of who you were told you are or what you were told you would become and get on an adventure of limitless possibilities. Date you, know you, love on you, you’ll be surprised what beauty lies within you and around you- you’ll become the gift that keeps on giving.
- Grief will occur more than once.
It is painful and it’s the price you pay for love. Grief is wholly, just like joy is and nothing can be said or done to fix it. It is the receipt you hold in the air for the world to see that you paid the price of love. It’s the last thing you show for loving anything or anybody and it will occur in your life and in the lives of those that you love, more than once.
- People are fickle and don’t take it personally.
One day you think you know them then the next the rug is pulled from underneath you and it’s like you are dealing with a total stranger. They will manipulate, extort and be unkind towards you. But don’t be persuaded into changing because of it. Just adjust your BS antennae so that next time it picks on such characters sooner.
- Your power is your authenticity.
Don’t allow any other person to be the barometer in which you judge yourself or get incarcerated in people’s definitions of who you are. Truth is, you are never as bad as they say you are and you’re never as good as they say you are and furthermore they don’t like you as much as they say they do. If you live for their compliments, you’ll die by their criticism.
- Form a relationship with Pain. It’s your power so don’t waste it.
As sure as the sun rises and sets you will encounter pain countless times in this life so don’t be afraid of it. This might blow your mind but realize that you are strong enough for any kind or amount of pain that you could ever encounter. You see pain is not a hot potato, it’s a travelling professor and the wisest of us welcome it and say sit down and don’t leave till you’ve taught me what I need to know. Remember there is no rising before the crucifixion.
- There is no glory except through your story.
And the beauty about it is that it’s cut and tailored just for you. It’s your blueprint so own it, no one else the world over has walked in those shoes but you! Make it beautiful.
- You don’t have forever.
Get on the grind right now! Youth is fleeting and time is marching. Devour while young and if it doesn’t work move on to the next thing. Time is too precious and it isn’t waiting on you lest you find yourself with nothing to divide while you’re old. Throw your whole self at something today. Don’t worry about other people’s names right now, worry about your name. Remember your 30- year old, 40-year old self depends on the genius inside of you. You better hurry.
- There’s nothing like wasted time or energies.
If you happen to have thrown yourself into something and it didn’t work, believe that it will be the thing that leads to the THING. In all that you do put your best foot forward and give it your best effort and if it turns out not to be IT, it will be one step closer to the IT you are hoping for. Your miracle isn’t in what you’ve lost but in what you have left.
- Be careful how you treat people. They are the means that God manifests His blessings in your life.
God often presents himself as opportunity. Opportunity to inspire, motivate, bless etc and His means is your fellow human being. Kill them with kindness.
- Be present in the NOW.
Dignify the present. Do your best at your current position, honour it with your intentions, strength and everything you are. It reciprocates.
- Notice the little things, within them resides miracles.
The sun in the sky. The rain pouring from the heavens. The wind brushing against your skin. The simplest things recalibrate you. Live in the moment.
- Ignore the temptation to settle.
You can’t say that you want something special then let the ordinary occupy your space. Stop placing yourself in the clearance. Maintain your worth in a world that constantly tries to determine your value. The real deal is worth waiting for and better still it is waiting for you.
- Hate, tribalism, racism can’t stand contact. In your own way be the bridge.
Seek to connect with people from a different kind of common than the one you’re used to. It is hard to see a friend through the lenses of tribe because the relationship you have transcends that detail. Beyond tribe, race etc choose to validate the humanity of every person you come across before you are tempted to highlight their brokenness whether on the basis of tribe, social class, level of education etc. Their humanity is as important as yours.
- Share and inspire, what might have worked for you can potentially work for someone else.
Life, like a video game, you know a couple of moves that have worked for you so far, so go on and share them with the next person. They don’t have to go through a tough time learning the ropes while you could share your insights and make their journey a little bit smoother.
- Learn to be still
Take a day off and just relax. No phone calls, texts, social media, emails just you and silence. Take on an activity that replenishes you and calms you. Go to church, read the word of God feed your spirit. Sit quietly. Be still, recalibrate.